A Tidy Control Freak!

My clothes are split in to work and play. They split again in to tops, jeans, jumpers, coats.... the list goes on.

It makes me feel inner calm when I know I am organised and my drawers are neat. This is not the case with one of my best friends, who shall remain nameless. We will call her ‘Stig’....'of the dump' that is, not the Topgear mystery man. Stig has recently been to my flat and has admired my tidy shelves so last weekend she enlisted my help to sort her ‘stuff’ out.

We are meant to start at 10am. After meeting at 1pm at the Harvester for lunch we eventually got started at 4pm.

I have never seen such a large collection of clothes. I think she has kept every item of clothing she has ever bought.

We started in the first brimming Ikea wardrobe and worked our way along. I take the items and hold them up. She deliberates over each one like it is a relative she has to kill before deciding that, despite not having worn the out of date, lemon, sparkly 'vest top' from Select since she brought it home, that she is going to keep it in the wardrobe!!  She is going to try and wear it as she feels guilty that it still has the label on it. It is irrelevant to her that it was £2, doesn’t fit over her ample bossom, and it is completely out of date.

I’m telling you her idea of a ‘classic’ vastly differs from mine. I must say it is a shame that she has spent her hard earned cash on 'discounted' items from Oasis, Warehouse, Debenhams, Select, New Look and Primark. Put her infront of a sign saying '10 tops for a £1' and she just can’t resist. Oasis could have been entirely restocked from her wardrobe alone.

We have decided to split the unwanted items 3 ways. There are the pieces with labels still on that will be sold at a boot fare when the weather improves. No one buys vest tops in the snow! There are the bags to go to Oxfam and other charity shops, someone will buy it, right?  And then there is the stuff so hideous and bobbly that not even birds would nest in it. These are thrown out with the 1000 hangers she has acquired.

On to shoes, I know some people have an addiction, but £10 pairs from Primarny (Primark) should not be deemed collectable and 'too good to wear'.

I have 10 pairs of shoes to suit any occasion. Dune and Nine West have done well out of me. They are classic, elegant and worth preserving. They were not expensive as in Manolo Blahnik terms but they have a certain quality.

Anyway, I divulge...back to Stig. We have 9 bin bags full of clothes that are ‘out’. I am worried that after I leave her house some will be transferred back to the wardrobes.  Stig claims she likes to buy ‘different’ outfits. She may like to buy them but has never worn them. She has many dresses that have been worn to christenings and weddings that she claims she will wear again. For example, a dress that she paid Debenhams £70 for and has never ever worn must remain, 'just in case'. It would have been perfect for that 1980s summer wedding and maybe for fancy dress after that - but that would have been it. I have told her that if she turns up for a night on the town in any of these outfits she will be on her own. I have some dignity you know.

To my great delight Stig has met a new man. He has some pennies and is used to all things good in life. Im not sure the New Look wrap around luminous number is going to fit the bill. I have told her not to shop alone again and I plan to keep tight control of her wardrobe. She will never be allowed to sit in first class next to her new beau in that outfit!

I love the Stig, in a platonic way, and hope that she can curb her incredible appetite for a bargain!